[TEXT MESSAGING. AT WORK. wot my job is easy?Megan: It's -28 degree windchill! Holy fuck ( Read more... )

When Al Was Drunk. Reeeeally Drunk

[Mal Mocking Al With Completely Incorrect High-Pitched Squeaky Voice]
Al: Oh, I love you, toilet seat.
Toilet Seat: I love you too, Allie!

ENDIn my defense, we were watching Alexander with the hopes that crappy movie + alcohol = vaguely decent movie. This assumption was incorrect. All that really happened was ( Read more... )

YAY SHE SAID I CAN POST IT ( Read more... )

Mal: So my friend Emily won "Art Historian of the Year."
Al: Oh, cool.
Mal: Yeah. There's only two Art History majors in our year.
Al: Oh...
Mal: ...I didn't even get nominated.
Al: Oh snap.

Mal: I didn't expect you to buy me a drink the last time we went out, so I'm gonna buy you one whenever we go out next.
Al: What, so I can get as drunk as you did?
Mal: Pretty much, yeah.
Al: That's not being nice, Mal, that's revenge.

Posted because I'm tired of seeing the blasphemous April Fool's LIES that I posted on Tuesday. I WAS JUST KIDDING ( Read more... )

Mal: I just realized I need to spread my legs a little bit wider there--
Al: The story of your life.

PART II

Mal: I don't have any special talents, except, well -- [gestures vaguely downwards] -- you know.

:D

Random Things I've Discovered:

1) Movies like August Rush make my maternal drive to have BABIEZ go INSANE WITH WANT. Seriously. The kid is SO ADORABLE IT HURTS. I mean, really, LOOKIT:


( Read more... )

* I'm working 8-10 hours a day at the front desk. It's simultaneously the easiest and most boring job I've ever had. This is not a complaint. This is like, a worshipful aria. May I continue to have long days in which my biggest concern on a daily basis is what I'm going to have to eat for lunch at the cafe. (can I have an 'Amen ( Read more... )

Me: Stir more to get the clumps out...
Mal: We need a mixer.
Me: Oh, hey, I'll make a mixer noise -- rrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR...
Mal: [stares]
Me: ...rrRRRRRRR.
Mal: ... SRHK -- OH GOD I'M BLEEDING IT'S STUCK OHMYGOD OH GOD OW OW GOD WHY MY FINGER MY FINGER PLEASE GOD UNPLUG IT--
Me: O.o

Lesson 1: Why Mal Should Never Be Allowed Imaginary Mixers.